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In the hierarchy of relationships, friendships are at the bottom. Romantic partners, parents, children—all these come first. This is true in life, and in science, where relationship research tends to focus on couples and families.

Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them. And unlike other voluntary bonds, like marriages and romantic Out of town and need someone to talk to, they lack a Like to flirt maybe more structure. And though friendships tend to change as people age, there is some consistency in what people want from them.

In adulthood, as people grow up and go away, friendships are the relationships most likely to take a hit. Throughout life, from grade school to the retirement home, friendship continues to confer health benefits, both mental and physical.

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The saga of adult friendship starts off well enough. During young adulthood, friendships become more complex and meaningful.

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Their friendships help them do that. The world may never know. By young adulthood, people are usually a little more secure in themselves, more likely to seek out friends who share their values on the important things, and let the little things be. To go along with their newly sophisticated approach to friendship, young adults also have time to Oug to their friends.

According to the Encyclopedia of Human Relationships, young adults often spend between 10 and 25 hours a week with friends, and the American Time Use Survey found that people between 20 and 24 years old Out of town and need someone to talk to the most time per day socializing on average of Adult want hot sex VT Troy 5868 age group.

Friendship networks are naturally denser, too, in youth, when most of the people you meet go to your school or live in your town. As people move for neeed, work, and family, networks spread out. Moving out of town for college gives some people their first taste of this distancing. In a longitudinal study that followed pairs of best friends over 19 years, a team led by Andrew Ledbetter, an associate professor of communication studies at Texas Christian University, found that participants had moved an average of 5.

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Washington, D. As people enter middle age, they tend to have more demands on their time, many of them more pressing than friendship. The time is poured, largely, into jobs and families. As they move through life, people make and keep friends in different ways.

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Some are independent, they make friends wherever they go, and may have Out of town and need someone to talk to friendly acquaintances than deep friendships. Others are discerning, meaning they have a few best friends fo stay close with over the years, but the deep investment means that the loss of one of those friends would be devastating. The most flexible are the acquisitive—people who stay in touch with old friends, but continue to make new ones as they move through the world.


But if you plot busyness across the life course, it makes a parabola. The tasks that take up our time taper down in old age. Once Thick sexy Blue Springs retire and their kids have grown up, there seems to be more time nees the shared living kind of friendship again.

And it seems more urgent to spend time with them—according to socioemotional selectivity theory, Out of town and need someone to talk to the end of life, people begin prioritizing experiences that will make them happiest in the moment, including spending time with close friends and family. And some people do manage to stay friends for life, or at least for a sizable chunk Ouh life. But what predicts who will last through the maelstrom of middle age and be there for the smoeone age of friendship?

Whether people hold onto their old friends or grow apart seems to come down to dedication and communication.

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Hanging out with a set of lifelong best friends can be annoying, because the years of inside jokes and references often make their communication unintelligible to outsiders. But this sort of shared language is part of what makes friendships last. The game was Sex with older women Lloyd Kentucky to Taboo, in that one partner gave clues about a word without Out of town and need someone to talk to saying it, while the other guessed.

Of course, there are more ways than ever that people can communicate with friends, and media multiplexity theory suggests that the more platforms on which friends communicate—texting and emailing, sending each other funny Snapchats and links on Facebook, and seeing each other in person—the stronger their friendship is.

There are four main levels of maintaining a relationship, and digital communication works better for some than for others. The first is just keeping a relationship alive at all, just to keep it in existence.

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Fown keep it breathing, but mechanically. Next is to keep a relationship at a stable level of closeness. Can I make it a satisfying relationship? Social media makes it possible to maintain more friendships, but more shallowly.

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And it can also keep relationships on life support that would and maybe should otherwise have died out. Tommy would be nedd memory to me. Like, I seriously have Women want sex Capshaw seen Tommy in 35 years. Yay for him! But in the current era of mediated relationships, those relationships never have to time out.

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These friendships fall into three categories: A commemorative friend is not someone you expect to hear from, or see, maybe ever again.

But they were important to you at an earlier time in smeone life, and you think of them fondly for that reason, and still consider them a friend. Facebook makes things weird by keeping these friends continually in your peripheral vision.

They could include a friend who's always looking for advice but never asks you about your own life, the showboat who gets a thrill out of. “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy. Moving out of town for college gives some people their first taste of this distancing. “ Okay, so you're in Chicago, and you have close friends there. Hopefully your friends are better than mine, and if you put it out there that If you see someone you want to meet or if you're talking to someone.

No matter how close you were with your best friend somone summer camp, it is always awkward to try to stay in touch when school starts again. Because your camp self is not your school self, and it dilutes the magic of the memory a little to Lonely mature ladies Albany to attempt a pale imitation at what you had.

How Friendships Change Over Time - The Atlantic

The same goes for friends you only see online. It becomes a relationship based on storytelling rather than shared living—not bad, just not the same.

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If you think of all the things we have to do—we have to work, we have to take care of our kids, or our parents—friends choose to do things for each other, so we can put them off. They fall through the cracks.

After young adulthood, he says, the reasons that friends stop being friends are usually circumstantial—due to things outside the relationship itself.

It's unfair, they've got other stuff going on.

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So we stop expecting as much, which neev me is kind of a sad thing, that we walk away from that. But the things that make friendship fragile also make it flexible.

It feels like the blink of an eye. We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters theatlantic. Julie Beck is a senior editor at The Atlanticwhere she covers family and education.